


Dirk Gently and the Case of the Missing Case

by Silvandar (orphan_account)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Het, Lime, No Plot/Plotless, Project Icarus (Dirk Gently), Smart Is The New Sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 11:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13363761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Silvandar
Summary: When a stranger comes into his life, Dirk is left in a whirl of confusion... is she important to the case, or perhaps just to him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ah well, it was inevitable. Samuel Barnett is just the exact right blend of mad, sexy, skinny and femme to push my buttons. 
> 
> Unusually, I've decided to go for a het pair. I'm sure it won't last.
> 
> Might turn this into a lemon, not sure yet. Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Update: this is now marked complete <3

“Please... please don't hurt her!” Dirk begged, his hands outstretched. The Blackwing soldier bared his teeth in a grin and pressed the knife against the girl's throat. 

“That's going to be up to you, Icarus. Get in the car and noone has to be hurt.”

Dirk looked around desperately, taking in the empty road and the military car, door open like a maw to swallow him whole. Not again... not ever again! He had sworn to himself... 

The girl's eyes were blue... the colour of the sky on a summer day. There was no fear there, he realised, only an expression of – what? Waiting, perhaps. Waiting for him to save her.

“It's going to be ok... Lena, was it? Lena, I promise, it's going to be ok!”

“You shouldn't promise things you can't deliver, Icarus”, and the blade pressed harder, bright red blood spilling down her skin and soaking the collar of the white dress. No... please no...

An engine, suddenly, and the soldier's expression changed to one of horror. Dirk risked a look behind him and saw the beaten up chevy pelting down the road at about 50kph. The scruffy figure behind the wheel could barely see over the dashboard, but even from this distance Dirk thought he could see the gleam of her eyes. 

“M... Marzanna... no...” with a yelp of terror the soldier flung the girl away from him, directly into Dirk's arms. As he caught her, he yelled at the car before it could screech past. 

“Bart! Stop! Don't leave us here!”

The back door was flung open and Todd stretched out his hand, hauling Dirk and the bleeding girl into the car seconds before Bart hit the throttle again and there was a meaty thud. The remains of the Blackwing thug bounced off the bonnet and crashed to the ground behind them, then they were past and free. 

 

“Nice rescuing” Dirk gently held a strip of his shirt to the wound on Lena's throat as Todd scrambled into the front passenger seat. 

“Thanks. Who's the girl?”

“No idea. Met her at the gas station a few miles away, her car had broken down and she was walking to the next town. I know she's important though.”

“To the case? Does she know anything about the Rams head?”

Dirk paused, staring down at the girl. Blue eyes opened and she regarded him calmly, her head cradled in his lap. “I don't know why, but I know she's important. Somehow.”

“You saved me” she murmured, her fingers touching the makeshift bandage on her throat. “Thank you.”

“I'm fairly sure I didn't do anything, but you're welcome” Dirk gave her a lopsided smile, his usual flippancy strangely absent. 

From the drivers seat, Bart glanced in the rear view mirror. “For what it's worth, I don't feel like I should kill her” she commented. Dirk gave her a glare. “I should think not! I didn't rescue her just for you to kill her!”

“Alright, enough” Todd said, raising his hands. “We've got a long drive to the safehouse Farrah mentioned, and we still have no idea where the Rams head is, if the Rowdy Three are even in this state and we have no idea what the duck is all about. Add a mystery 'important' girl, and how the heck Blackwing found you, and I'm pretty much out of ideas. Let's all just... be quiet for the drive. OK?”

“OK” Dirk said, strangely calm. Todd glanced at him, but his eyes were fixed on the delicate features and blue eyes of the girl who had come from nowhere and somehow, was now the only thing he could see.


	2. Chapter 2

“I brought you some dinner” Dirk paused before pushing open the door, then froze in place. “Oh...”

Lena turned, tucking her hair behind her ears. The gesture made something turn over alarmingly in Dirk's midsection, and he spluttered for a moment before turning his back on her so violently that he almost did a little skip. “I'm... I'm so sorry, I didn't think you'd be well, ahem, anyway, I didn't mean to intrude I just...”

“Thank you” she said, taking the tray from his hands gently. The food was meagre: water, some dry cereal and a few slices of bread Farrah had managed to toast on the fire in the sitting room. To a girl who had been on the road for three days and hadn't eaten for longer, it was a feast. She sat on the edge of the bed and began eating gratefully, trying not to bolt the food. After a few moments, she realised Dirk was still standing with his back to her. 

“What's the matter? Is there something wrong with the wall?”

“Wall? Wha... no! No. No I just... well you're not really dressed, are you.”

She glanced down at the shift she was wearing. “My clothes were covered in blood, I tried to wash them. It didn't really work... I'm hardly naked. You can look.”

He turned, aware of how hot his face was. She smiled at him and his flush deepened. With his orange shirt and yellow jacket, it made him look a bit like a carrot. She giggled and patted the bed beside her. 

“You're making the place look untidy” she pointed out, and he sat with an awkward motion, as if his knees had folded up against his will. 

“Sorry about the food” he said, frowning at the tray. “We're a bit light on... well, everything really. Staying off the radar is extra difficult with Bart in the group.”

“Bart... she was driving the car. The girl with the dreadlocks and the really big knife?”

“Indeed. She's... complicated. You're safe though. I think. She said she'd warn me if she felt any urges to kill any of us.”

Lena blinked, and set the empty tray down. “She kills people?”

“Oh yes. It's very much her Thing.”

“Oh. What's your Thing?”

“I... well, I'm a holistic detective. I solve cases by wandering around and letting the universe push me around. Everything is connected, you see, and...” Dirk's voice caught in his throat as she reached over and picked up his hand. “Wha... what are you doing?”

“I read palms” she said, a teasing smile on her face. “It's just a game, really, but it's fun. Let's see...” she turned his hand over and ran her fingers over his palm, pausing at his wrist. The sensation made him shiver and she looked up at him, concerned. 

“I'm not... I don't usually touch people” he apologised, “no... don't... I mean, I don't mind!” he added, as she quickly let go of his hand. He laced his fingers with hers and the motion pulled her closer to him, making him flush again. “I mean... I'm sorry” he finished lamely, and she laughed a little, tightening her grip on his hand. 

“You're not really used to people, are you” it was a statement, and he shrugged. “Never really had the knack” he agreed, his gaze falling to their joined hands to avoid her eyes. As he watched, she gently twisted her grip so she could trace the scars on his fingers.

“What did you mean when you said I was important?”

“That's sort of how I work. I find important people and things, and they add up to clues about my cases. I just get these... hunches, I suppose you could say. When I saw you at that shop, I just... knew I needed to keep you with me. I don't know why yet.”

“Keep me with you...” her head came up as she met his gaze and for a moment the tips of their noses brushed. Neither of them moved away, or even seemed to notice. “I... I feel the same. Like I have to be here. With you.”

“With me...” his throat felt suddenly very dry. Despite being used to being in insane and often dangerous situations, somehow having this slender girl next to him made him feel more unsure of himself than he'd ever felt before. 

She smiled, and he found himself staring at the pale blush of her lips. His body was light and filled with electricity, singing to itself in a language he didn't understand but felt powerless to resist. Seconds stretched into eternity, and then she closed her eyes and he felt her warm breath on his skin as their lips met. 

Flashes of memory, moving so fast he could barely follow them...Six years old, crying on a train platform, and the touch of a warm, comforting hand... the cold, hard steel of a bench at Blackwing, his naked skin shivering as he prayed for the tests to be over... a soft voice whispering in his ear... the light of the sun on the first day after the escape, a feeling he would forever associate with freedom and hope... the taste of peppermint on the lips of the only other girl who had ever kissed him, and the feeling of the blade she carried entering his side... the smell of oil and cannabis and sweat, as the Rowdy Three surrounded him... falling from a bridge into freezing water and knowing, knowing that he would survive, that the universe was taking him somewhere new...

They broke apart, both gasping slightly from the heat of the kiss. Somehow in the tangle of lips and limbs they had moved and she was beneath him, his thigh pressing between her legs and his hands in her hair. His jacket was gone, and her fingers were cool on the skin beneath his shirt. As he looked down at her in a certain amount of confusion, he felt her fingernails run gently up his spine and his thought process shut down again as he lost himself in her kiss. 

This time there were no memories, only the taste of her, the feel of her beneath him and the strange new desires that were flooding him. “Not really my thing” had been his default response to anyone attempting to get close, he had never had an answer to what his thing actually was. He just knew that he'd never seen it, or wanted it, until now.

Now, there was a fire in his mind and his body was pulsing like a heartbeat. Every move she made, every tiny sound or touch, and he flushed with heat. Every inch of him that was touching her felt like it was burning, and their kiss was the centre of the whirl. 

His shirt disappeared in her eagerness to touch him, to see him. Once she had bare skin under her hands, she wriggled and he found himself on his back, her long dark hair like a wave over his chest. She paused there, looking down at him as she sat on his hips, her fingers tracing the bullet holes and knife wounds that littered his torso. 

Self conscious about his body, he tried to cover himself with his arms and she gently took hold of his wrists, pinning his hands to the pillow either side of his head. He stared up at her, aware suddenly that he was vulnerable, and panic flared in his eyes. 

“It's OK” she murmured, releasing his wrists and lowering her lips to his jaw. Despite himself, he moaned aloud as her kiss wandered down his throat and onto his shoulder. Slow and soft, yet each touch making his stomach lurch and fire stabbing into his groin. Belatedly, he recognised how hard he was and how much his skintight pants were painfully constricting. 

“It's OK” she repeated, her lips finding his again. He couldn't seem to find a safe place to put his hands, so she guided them to her hips and then leaned down over him, letting him take her weight against his chest. Dirk moaned again as he felt her breasts pressing against him, his heart hammering so loudly in his ears it felt as if he was going deaf. 

Abruptly, he panicked and pushed her off, leaping to the side of the bed and putting his head in his hands. He was panting, his back arched as he caught his breath, and his skin rose in gooseflesh as the cold air hit him. 

“Dirk... I'm sorry...”

“Wha... no, no I'm sorry... I'm not used to... this is all very intense and wonderful and terrifying and the last time anyone got close to me she stabbed me and frankly I have no idea what I'm doing and...” he took a deep, shaking breath “...and it's all very unexpected...”

He flinched a little as she sat up next to him and gently touched his shoulder, and then hated himself as she pulled her hand away. Closing his eyes, he forced his panic down and leaned back, resting his head on her shoulder and feeling her pressing against his back. After a few moments, she gently wrapped her arms around his thin chest and he gripped her wrists, pulling her even tighter against him. As he felt her rest her cheek against his head, he sighed heavily. “I'm a mess”.

“You're not the only mess” she said, kissing the top of his head. “I wasn't expecting that any more than you were.”

He opened his eyes and stared at the wall for a while, listening to her breathing and feeling the panic draining out of him. When she laced her fingers through his, he smiled and raised her hand to his lips. “Would you like to try that again, without me making a complete and total shambles of it?” he asked, his nervousness making his voice shake. She tilted his face upwards and leaned over, capturing his lips and running her fingers down his throat. 

“Definitely” she breathed, and felt him smile into her kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come and say hi on Tumblr!](http://silvandar.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Cis hetero slow burn fans, click here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16400234) Yuri On Ice - Seung-gil Lee x OC fic


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